Sunday, May 20, 2012

Day 7.

So, I've gone off script slightly.  I'm feeling a little guilty, but trying not to get too consumed by it.  A lifestyle change involves living our LIVES.  And if that means that I have to flip the script, then so be it.  I cannot follow guidelines all the time - sometimes I have to wing it.  So, wing it I did.  And cheat a little, I did that too.  But, not 'slice of chocolate cake' type of cheating.

So, I was watching a few videos by Dr. Moreno (author of the book/creator of diet plan/lifestyle change) in which he answers questions regarding the plan.  Someone asked something about jello and pudding and he said the sugar free stuff was fine.  Now, they didn't specify which phase of the diet.  I'm assuming he meant in maintenance.  But, I am taking liberty since he didn't specify and am eating sugar free pudding now.  Because dammit I want a flippen dessert.  So, last night I had chocolate pudding - sugar/fat free.  And it was delicious.

Today, I had more pudding.  I also had 3 pieces of summer sausage and 2 square slices of cheese.  Josh and I went to a birthday party at a friend's house.  I ate before I went, but I wasn't planning on staying as long as we did and I got really hungry and cranky.  They had cherries and strawberries, which I ate as my fruit serving.  But 2 hours later, after I had given up cake and ice cream (yes I managed to say no), I was gnawing on my cheek.  And getting very irritable.  So, I got up and got some cheese and sausage.  It was not very tasty, but it was enough to let the stomach gnawing and twisting subside until I got home, and ate about 6 oz of turkey breast...almost practically standing at the kitchen counter, the entire time.

Tonight, for dinner, I debated - seriously - getting Popeye's fried chicken.  I am so tired of chicken and turkey.  And chicken.  And turkey.  And I'm tired of cooking!!!!!  I want to order a pizza, pop open a carton of ice cream, warm some brownies, and EAT!!!!!  So, I was depressed and frustrated with my food choices and feeling sorry for myself.  So, Josh offered to take me to the grocery store and get crab or shrimp (not on the plan for Phase I - but low in calories, low in fat, and good for you - so I don't care that it's not on the effing plan!).  We went and couldn't find any crab that looked appetizing, and definitely not any shrimp that was worth the money.

So, we found salmon burgers (170 cals), stuffed salmon cakes (249 cals), and stuffed swai (130 cals).  And I'm eating them.  The salmon cakes have 9 carbs; stuffed salmon burgers have 10 carbs and the stuffed swai have 4 carbs.  I'm totally eating them.  And they will totally be delicious. (update: I only managed to eat about half of each cake).

I have not had very many vegetables today - I had zucchini and tomatoes at breakfast, but nothing since.  I don't feel like cooking.  I don't care about vegetables right now.

I was talking to Josh about my cravings.  I don't know why they're so voracious now.  I've had them in check - so there's no reason they should be crazy.  I think I'm PMSing.  That's the only thing I can think of - it's usually when my cravings are at their highest and craziest, so I'm going with that.  This too shall pass.

So, I've been on the plan for a week.  It has felt like an eternity.  I cannot wait for Phase 1 to be over.  CANNOT WAIT!  Grrr.

Oh, I also had a diet soda.  Yeah, I'm a rebel.  So what?  Diet soda, little veggies, higher calorie intake, stuffed fish, and sugar free pudding.  BOO-YAH!

If I don't lose weight tomorrow - at my weigh in, I'm seriously considering throwing in the towel.

BTW - my energy level was absolutely fabulous today - no nap needed!  :)

Happy Sunday all! 

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