Saturday, May 19, 2012

Discouraged.

Starting Day 6 of Cycle 1.

I have been weighing myself every morning.  I haven't lost any weight since Wednesday morning.  I am now becoming discouraged.  I've tried reading about others experiences and it seems to be mixed.  Those who are losing a lot of weight, quickly, are accusing those who aren't of cheating.  And those who aren't losing weight are frustrated and concerned and finding no relief or support.

I'm still going to stick with it.  Who knows why the weight isn't falling off.  And technically, my weigh-in day is Monday. AND what the hell is my problem?  I've lost almost 4 pounds in less than 4 days!  That should be an awesome accomplishment and I should be proud of it - even if my weight doesn't drop again by Monday - 4 pounds in a week is wonderful!  So, maybe this plan isn't the "fast results guaranteed!"; "Lose up to 13 pounds in the first 17 days!" plan that it promises to be.  It's still a pretty effective weight loss tool (4 pounds in less than a week!) and it is encouraging me to get rid of the sugar!

I really never thought I'd be able to do something like this.  I love sugar and breads and cakes and pastries.  If someone had told me that I would be able to make it 5 days without these goods, I would have laughed at them and called them crazy.  It is a huge accomplishment for me to have made it this far!  And I can give it another 11 days!  What have I got to lose?  Other than some much needed weight?

I'll work on not getting discouraged.  It is a journey...and it's about the journey, not the final destination (although being a sexy little minx in a size 4 bikini on the beach would be a pretty awesome final destination!).

Yesterday was an unusual day because I was HUNGRY.  Not just for a cupcake, but really truly hungry.  After every meal I wanted more.  After dinner, I was still hungry (enough to the point that I was slightly irritable).  So, Josh encouraged me to eat more.  Normally, I try to stick to the low end of the 1200 calorie range.  But I was SO hungry last night - so Josh made me scrambled eggs with some fat free feta.  They were delicious and made my tummy very happy - I was all better after that.  But my food intake pushed up to over 1450 calories!  I felt like a failure that I had to eat that much.

I don't know why I can't seem to convince my body that I DO NOT NEED the food.  I am a short woman.  I have a small build (under all this fat).  My BMR is about 1600 calories.  I can LIVE on 1200 calories - why won't my stomach listen????!!!  That is the most frustrating part of all of this, I think.

Ok - deep breath.  It takes 21 days to develop a habit.  I'll be fine...just have to continue for 21 days and my body will get the message.

Score for Jenn - No diet soda since Sunday!  That's almost a WEEK!  Longest I have gone in my adult life.  Very proud of myself.

So, here's the breakdown for yesterday:
B - Kefir shake with berries and agave syrup; Green tea; Iced coffee;
L - Leftover turkey meatballs in tomato sauce; Green tea
S - Carrot sticks and CARBmaster yogurt; Green tea
D - Tuna stir fried with cabbage and carrots;
S2 - Cauliflower popcorn (it was...interesting...and delicious)
2nd Dinner - Scrambled eggs with fat free feta

One day at a time.  I can get through today because I am strong and capable!  GO JENN!

PS: A note about my energy level.  I have fibromyalgia so I am always tired and always without energy.  At any point I can usually lay down and fall asleep.  Unless it's bedtime.  Then I seem to have insomnia.  The energy fluctuations while on this plan are more related to my normal energy levels (except for Monday - which was HORRIBLE!).  The only reason I've mentioned it is because one of the pluses of the plan is that I'm supposed to gain energy.  My energy levels are pretty normal and I'm feeling 100% (for Jenn) - I even got up before 8am this morning, and am on my second cup of coffee.  It's a SATURDAY!!!  Before 8am?!  I can't even do that during the work week!  So - some improvements....

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